the sonic edge guys are going to Australia! 05Nov-22Nov04. Yay..
so last wed 27Oct04 crystal led worship during cell.. then jon asked me to lead worship on the second week of their absence.. panic attack.. after that night.. i've been thinking about it since.. alot of thoughts running thru my head... why why why... of all pple would he ask me tat..
sigh.. i really don't know why.. really really wanted to go up to jon and ask him why.. so in the end.. i turned to God.. knowing that that's what He wants me to do anyway..
so i asked God why... i don't even know how to sing properly.. have never ever led worship before in my entire life.. the worst thing is feeling very self conscious.. and oh noo.. what songs do i sing?! arghhh.. panic attack..
so i prayed God if this is your will.. help me to obey. then subtlely.. my prayers were answered.. i think.
today's devotion titled the step into the dark. readings Heb 11:1-16 "... without faith it is impossible to please God.. " (v6:NIV) "A final step we should take in determining guidance is to remind ourselves that God never makes the path ahead absolutely clear because he wants us to exercise faith." excerpt taken from 366 devotions by selwyn hughs.
As if this wasn't enough... Glenn.. was talking to us gals about exercising faith.. well in his context it was for prayers.. but he said something that stuck me.. he said something like.. if u haven't done it before.. then start now.. start exercising faith..
i'm still really scared.. feeling low in self esteem.. then God reminded me again.. its not for man.. ultimately its for Him.. its always about Him..
i'm still panicking.. but not as bad now.. heeeee..

God is good. .. He truely is. Amen.