i finally wore the mango green spaghetti i bought some time back! the material is sooooo nice.. simply love it. tat's wat made me buy it in the 1st place! cos these days.. i don't shop for spags anymore. not since i cannot remember when. but sadly.. i think its too low cut.. jus like all my other mango tops. sigh.. wat a waste. i better watch where i spend my money.
ok wat made me say it.. when i saw head turns.. i know this top is a no. ;( how realistic this cruel world is.. and of cos power dressing is another issue... the NO came really hard when i caused a brother to look. yes. girls are very sensitive.. and can u blame the guys? no.. cos its a natural reaction. it is! jus ask any of them! its not cos they are perverts. its jus the world has been perversed in many ways.. since the beginning of time.
i've kept most of my revealing clothes away.. esp my spags.. except for some that i combine with my cardigan or shawl. it got to me once when a guy asked me.. hey why don't u wear spags? and low and behold i did after that comment. not too long ago. sigh.. kinda disappointed with myself. why should i conform to the world. so in order to be a hot chick u got to wear revealing clothes? is that where we put our security in? yea. and of cos jus yesterday.. someone made a comment.. shawna u've changed. u've became a nerd.. old prune maybe. lol. perhaps deep inside i've always been a nerd. the old me.. was jus a facade desperately trying to seek acceptance somewhere.
i pondered a long while.. and that security in God is so important! In my head it would scream DIE OLD SHAWNA but i know learning is a never ending process.. i think twice when i wear and buy clothes these days.. when i thot deeper wat God has to say to me.. i got reminded of this one particular day, i wore a low cut mid drift.. ok. i was abt 18 or 19. geez.. those days of rebellion were horrid. and jus imagine.. making out in public with that attire.. geez. i don't know where to put my face now.. thinking back. yes. i tot it was cool.
above all... its God saying.. if you love me, you will obey my commands. there is no buts to it.. no God is not being rigid. Its simply God. 1Pet says Be holy because I am holy. Purity is wat God seeks for. cos that's His very nature! in the old testament pple die if they are impure when they see God! so God was just reminding me again.. if i truly love Him, i will obey his command. disobedience is a sin. delayed obedience is a sin. love is self control. i need alot of self control.
today during cell, i got the word sacriface. ya.. i've been spending unneccessary time on the internet.. so which leads me to wanna go on an internet fast. no more blogs, no more surfing and msn till the end of march. also cos of my law paper on 22 Mar 05.. its simply cos i lack discipline to control my self. emails will probably be checked every 2-3 days.
it got so bad that i can spend 2hrs surfing nonsense on the internet that when it comes to quiet time, its like oh i'm too tired. chat with God less than 5mins and ok nite kinda attitude sigh.. its been going on for quite some time. and i'm sure its not a coincidence that the word sacriface came. the fast is jus to start me off. the reason why i'm writing this on my blog.. is because you who reads it.. i'm holding myself accountable to you. forgive me if i fail.. but yes u can scold me if u see me online.
to think i only remembered God's word on sunday.. be purposeful in everything you do including worship today during worship. geez.
God knows we forget easily.. tat's why He gives us promises to hold on to. :)
my phone has been sent for repair.. but crystal has lent me her old phone. heh. :)
ok wat made me say it.. when i saw head turns.. i know this top is a no. ;( how realistic this cruel world is.. and of cos power dressing is another issue... the NO came really hard when i caused a brother to look. yes. girls are very sensitive.. and can u blame the guys? no.. cos its a natural reaction. it is! jus ask any of them! its not cos they are perverts. its jus the world has been perversed in many ways.. since the beginning of time.
i've kept most of my revealing clothes away.. esp my spags.. except for some that i combine with my cardigan or shawl. it got to me once when a guy asked me.. hey why don't u wear spags? and low and behold i did after that comment. not too long ago. sigh.. kinda disappointed with myself. why should i conform to the world. so in order to be a hot chick u got to wear revealing clothes? is that where we put our security in? yea. and of cos jus yesterday.. someone made a comment.. shawna u've changed. u've became a nerd.. old prune maybe. lol. perhaps deep inside i've always been a nerd. the old me.. was jus a facade desperately trying to seek acceptance somewhere.
i pondered a long while.. and that security in God is so important! In my head it would scream DIE OLD SHAWNA but i know learning is a never ending process.. i think twice when i wear and buy clothes these days.. when i thot deeper wat God has to say to me.. i got reminded of this one particular day, i wore a low cut mid drift.. ok. i was abt 18 or 19. geez.. those days of rebellion were horrid. and jus imagine.. making out in public with that attire.. geez. i don't know where to put my face now.. thinking back. yes. i tot it was cool.
above all... its God saying.. if you love me, you will obey my commands. there is no buts to it.. no God is not being rigid. Its simply God. 1Pet says Be holy because I am holy. Purity is wat God seeks for. cos that's His very nature! in the old testament pple die if they are impure when they see God! so God was just reminding me again.. if i truly love Him, i will obey his command. disobedience is a sin. delayed obedience is a sin. love is self control. i need alot of self control.
today during cell, i got the word sacriface. ya.. i've been spending unneccessary time on the internet.. so which leads me to wanna go on an internet fast. no more blogs, no more surfing and msn till the end of march. also cos of my law paper on 22 Mar 05.. its simply cos i lack discipline to control my self. emails will probably be checked every 2-3 days.
it got so bad that i can spend 2hrs surfing nonsense on the internet that when it comes to quiet time, its like oh i'm too tired. chat with God less than 5mins and ok nite kinda attitude sigh.. its been going on for quite some time. and i'm sure its not a coincidence that the word sacriface came. the fast is jus to start me off. the reason why i'm writing this on my blog.. is because you who reads it.. i'm holding myself accountable to you. forgive me if i fail.. but yes u can scold me if u see me online.
to think i only remembered God's word on sunday.. be purposeful in everything you do including worship today during worship. geez.
God knows we forget easily.. tat's why He gives us promises to hold on to. :)
my phone has been sent for repair.. but crystal has lent me her old phone. heh. :)
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